2001-06-11 - 2:09

Living tomorrow . . .

Well, I had a lengthy entry in here the other night, but Diaryland died while I was posting. D'oh!

This weekend was okay. The weather was better than it has been all year, which was a big plus. The Saturday night plans came together all right. I would've preferred getting together with everyone earlier in the day and then making our way out for supper, but everybody had something on the go.

However, Flett did bring his new guitar over for a midafternoon jam, which was excellent. He and I used to play our acoustics together, but that was the first time that I've played my electric with anyone. Very fun. I now have the intro for Black Flag's "Modern Man" to work on.

By the time that we corralled everyone downtown for supper, we ended up having to go with a back-up plan. Both the Chu Shing and Yangtze were reserved for wedding parties; and those aren't exactly small restaurants. (Does anyone know if it was a lucky date on the Chinese calendar?) At any rate, Frank recommended another great restaurant just down the street, and the food was every bit as impressive. Everyone who I was expecting to see Saturday, I did, so that was cool (although I was also right about who I thought wouldn't make it).

Afterwards, we rushed home at my insistence, because I had to watch Game 7. Alan came over for that, too, and Ray was already watching when we arrived. Unfortunately, the two of them got the last laugh, since the Avs pulled through. It was good to see Patty Roy coming up big again, but I was still pulling for the Devils.

I've been fairly down ever since. No, not because of hockey. I've just been thinking about things and making myself unhappy. I ended last night by listening to Sabbath with the lights out. Today, I woke up and felt completely unmotivated to get out of bed. It took me hours just to get up and have a shower.

Once I did get up, today felt better. It's hard to be too down on a beautiful summer day, especially after your roommate brings you home the DQ gutbuster brownie that you mentioned wanting the night before. Even still, though, the same thoughts were lingering tonight, prompting the same reactions.

Living next to a park helps. I went out around 11:00 tonight and kicked around for a while on the grass and the sand, barefoot. It was good to be in motion in the cool night air. It left me in a much better mood.

I dunno. I'm not insincere in my happiness when I'm hanging out with friends, having a good time. And it's not a lie when I tell people that things are going well. I know that I have a lot to feel good about. But I am fundamentally unhappy with certain aspects of my life and that dissatisfaction does get to me sometimes.

I don't know how else to explain or analyze it now. I don't want to make it seem greater or lesser than it is. It's just something that was on my mind again lately.

J.