2001-01-21 - 2:59

Nonconfrontational

On Friday, I met with a fairly interesting company about a job. It definitely sounded up my alley, as far as the skills that they were looking for and the areas in which they're working.

My main plan still seems to be in effect though, as I have a verbal committment to the first job that I was after. The meeting the other day was mostly so I could examine other options. I guess that you never know. Maybe if they catch me in the right mood, I'll agree to go work for them in Texas. When it comes right down to it, how much is holding me here?

Of course, with that attitude, I should be talking to my boys in Cali . . . ehhh, it's nothing I want to worry about at the moment. The original plan seems to be coming true, so that is probably the direction that I will choose.

Today was okay. I had fun chillng with Oak in the afternoon and late at night, with a break in the middle when I was hiding in my room. I dunno. I've been told before that I'm nonconfrontational; and I guess that it's true. I enjoy a good debate, serious or ridiculous, as Stefan or Liam could assure you; but I do avoid conflict. You could say that I'm argumentative but nonconfrontational.

So, when the other boys came back with some of my not favourite people, I spent the rest of the night holed up in my room, door closed, playing guitar and reading. When I say "not favourite," I actually mean someone who had a real hate-on for me before and wasn't shy about letting it be known. I'm not sure if it's still there or not; but I didn't want anything to do with that vibe.

Honestly, I'd be happier if they could all get together somewhere else or if I could find somewhere else to go. True, nobody's telling me that I have to get out of the way; but it's obvious that I make a deliberate effort to make myself scarce. It'd be nice if people picked up on that fact and respected it. I miss the summer, when I at least had Colin to hang out with.

Ah well. At least I can say that I'm leaving well enough alone, which, admittedly, isn't always my strong point. (Heh.) I'm just not sure if I'm really doing it the right way.

On the plus side, I did get some more reading done tonight. I feel a bit let down about finishing the Rollins book. It's not that the writing was at all a disappointment; it's that the themes in the book were really giving me something to think about. I need to get my hands on something else that'll make me think.

J.