2002-04-02 - 3:19

And after you cross that first mile

So, I haven't really followed up on writing about Michelle, who I mentioned about two weeks back. (Did I even mention a name, then? Well, if not, now I did.) I suppose that my lack of writing on that topic was because: (a) it's odd writing about the whole boy/girl thing if you know that the other person is reading; and (b) I was fairly uncertain what I would be writing, anyway.

Well, the first factor is not going to change, so I will still be limited by that. As for the uncertainty, well . . . hmm . . . I suppose that things are still uncertain; but the uncertainty itself has been identified and defined. And of course, that makes complete sense, doesn't it?

Okay, backing up to the party two weeks ago, I definitely felt as if we didn't get too much chance to talk, which felt as if it was by design. On the other hand, I didn't feel as if things went badly--without question, after actually meeting Michelle, my opinion of her was certainly raised.

Since then, we've talked off and on; but it didn't really clear any confusion. Of course, it was nice to chat, so I have no complaints there; but it didn't help me see where things stood. Hmm . . . well, it's not that I'm saying that something needed to be defined--we've still barely met--but I can't apologize for being curious.

At any rate, I have been content to let things stand and enjoy talking with someone who is, at the very least, an interesting friend.

Tonight we had a very interesting conversation. I'd say that we each understand much better what the other has been thinking. And, of course, it's as complicated and as simple as these things are. And there are more questions to be asked and more to say. And who knows, right?

But it was still an interesting talk. Perhaps "who knows?" is the best conclusion. As long as I can acknowledge that the possibility is there, I can be content to let what will happen come as it does. And I am definitely glad that we met, however it goes from here.

Okay, did I just take a lot of space to say relatively little? Well, if this is a diary of my thoughts, consider this entry the distilling of a backlog of two weeks of unexpressed thoughts. In all likelihood, these thoughts will return to their place in the background, since I don't see it becoming less awkward to write about them here. We'll see.

In other news, I sprang for the super duper membership dealie, which means that this journal now supports comments. I've been wondering about that concept for a while now. I even wrote Jen once to ask her how she enjoyed the comments system on LiveJournal and she seemed very happy with it. I know that I have enjoyed dropping a note to a few people here and there.

So . . . it's there now, so feel free to use it. I must say, though, that this entry is perhaps not ideal for breaking in the comments system. I am still fairly shy, so I'll have to see how I feel about feedback on my rare private-seeming entries. (Yeah, it's a public journal, but you know what I mean. Every once in a while I say something other than "Hey, here's some concert that I'm going to see"; and some of those entries are more revealing.)

Well, I don't mean to discourage anyone. Comment as you like; and there's always the guestbook, if you have something to say but you're not responding to a particular entry.

Damn, is it 3:00 AM already? I really should get myself on a semi-normal schedule someday. Although, to that thought, I can only echo my parting line from last entry:

Eventually.

J.