2000-06-05 - 12:41:35

Awake, arise, or be forever fall'n

Still no tickets in the mail . . . d'oh! I'll call the number today and ask what the deal is. Hopefully, they'll be able to straighten out the problem.

The new co-ops start work today. One of them was in here Friday, getting Greg and I to help her look for an apartment. Then later on that night while we were in the backyard barbecuing, I looked over and there she was. She was checking out the unit right next to ours, to see if they had an opening. Actually, when I was here last summer, the other co-op in our group also lived next to me.

I mentioned to Colin when the girl went by that, unfortunately, she was married, which led to the question of am I looking for someone. I dunno. I'd say that I'm definitely over the real down-and-out stage that I was in when I moved up here. It was tough for a few months; but from the Rollins concert at the end of March onwards, I've been fine.

On the other hand, though, I'm definitely not on the prowl or anything. Even with Kim, it was a case of something simply developing over time. I wasn't really looking for anyone when I found her. I think that I'm back in that same mode now. I'm not actively seeking someone; but, as before, I'd be willing to pursue a relationship if I did happen to meet the right someone.

I think that it still feels more natural to me not to be with someone. Despite the fact that I was never happier than when I was with Kim, I still view solitude as the normal condition. That impression makes sense, though, given the fact that I never dated anyone before Kim.

In any event, I'm content with both my current status and my attitude. If I can find someone who I care about, I'm certainly willing to take the opportunity seriously and pursue it full-force; but I'm not going to force anything. For now, it's just a case of being open to what I can find.

J.