2000-10-06 - 0:21

When frustration paints your four walls black

So, do I explain what I meant in the last entry about recent weirdness? And, if so, do I manage to pull it off without getting soap opera-ey?

All right, I'll take an indirect shot at it, by jumping to the moral of the story. People should learn not to build up so many expectations in their mind to try to take themselves somewhere they want to be, regardless of the facts. You shouldn't decide that someone is the key to all your happiness, especially when you're trying to pull yourself out of a depression. Cut the melodrama, suck it up, and go on.

It's not that I don't understand the feeling when things go wrong. You know that I was crawling for a long time. But it all comes down to self-awareness. Know it for what it is. Don't lie about what you see and get mad at those around you when your self-deception is revealed to you.

Anyway, I guess that this is one of those things that is difficult to capture in the journal. It's just something that's on my mind, so I'm trying to look at it.

Hmm . . . what else is on the go? Well, I managed to get two long weekends this year: I took the ones in May and August; but I worked Canada Day and Labour Day. Following that tradition, I realized today that I definitely have to go to work Saturday, and maybe Sunday. I know what I want to finish for Tuesday, so I'll be in however long it takes to get it done. The plan is to definitely not go in on Monday (Thanksgiving), though.

Somewhere down the line, I think I'll take a day or two off to make up for the missed holidays. Here's hoping things die down at work in two weeks, like they're supposed to.

J.