2000-10-25 - 0:13

Stories from the city

Remember there were about three seconds in July when I was the lead guy on my project at work? Well, apparently that time has returned, since the person in charge right now is leaving the group in two weeks.

However, it's not the uncomfortable situation that it was for me in July, because we are essentially wrapping up the major phase of the project this week, anyway. Even still, though, for good or ill, there will be a component with my name attached to it. And here I was already thinking of assuming a new disguise, just because the people across the hall were starting to know who "Blondie" was (heheh).

So, we lose another one at work. It makes me stop to wonder what keeps me in that group. Don't misread that statement--I'm not unhappy there now. I'm just trying to figure out why I'm not considering leaving, especially in light of a couple of friends going to California for what sounds like cool work. Hmmm . . . I'll give this idea some more thought and see what I come up with. As an initial thought, I'd say that the possibilty that Greg might be coming back with us is the brightest point to the job.

Today was notable for the hugely-anticipated release of the new PJ Harvey CD! Woohoo! I remember how stongly I was looking forward to Is This Desire? in '98. In many ways, that CD relates to all of the defining moments of my second work term in Ottawa, during the last four months of that year.

For starters, I made it to Toronto to see Polly on tour that year, which was one of my favourite concerts ever, and my first time making the trip to T.O. alone. The upcoming release of ITD? is also how I stumbled across Jennie's (now departed but fondly remembered) PJ web site. Two years later, Jennie and I still say hi every once in a while, and her journal eventually inspired me to start my own.

Is This Desire?, and PJ Harvey in general, also provided a soundtrack for my thoughts and feelings towards Kimmy, which were moving fast at the time.

Now, the arrival of Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea has been timed so that I listen to it and relate the lyrics to Jian. (As an aside, I'll note that the only way that I can approach writing an entry like this is by trying to pretend that I don't know that the person it is going to be about reads this page. It won't really work; but that'll be my intention.)

Things with Jian are moving slowly but surely for the better. As I've mentioned before, getting together has proven difficult; but we've at least found the time to talk quite frequently. The whole relationship thusfar has been an interesting experience for me.

It's strange to have been able to be so passive about it all. I was the one being pursued, since Jian was interested before we even met. Once we did meet, though, I certainly saw no reason to avoid the pursuit (since she turned out to be nice and friendly and beautiful), so it was all a done deal very quickly.

Since then, it's been a case of yes, the initial attraction is there; but in a way, we barely know each other. With time, though, we've been chipping away at that lack of knowledge. Talking with Jian tonight was quite interesting. It was another time when I could see something more revealing than usual in what she said. The more that I get to know Jian, the more that I see a certain sensitivity in her that means a lot to me.

Very early on, she quoted a poem about being fragile and said that she could tell that I was like what it described. It's hard to explain now; but I took it as something that few people would relate to me. I'm still unsure how she concluded that, since I don't know how revealing I have been; but I guess that we're each still tring to get the full picture, a few strokes at a time.

So far, it has been only a positive experience; and I'm happy to give us the time to know each other all the better.

And I draw a line
To your heart today
. . .

J.