2002-01-27 - 2:13

Your number is one (refrain)

And so you open up your journal
And try to open up yourself
To try to find the key that unlocks the door
That gets you to the point
The reference point
So you can say, "Right there
X marks the spot of my discontent
"X marks the spot of my soul starvation
"X marks the spot, the place
Where I went so wrong."

Today was the day of solidifying concert plans. I woke up early and walked to the nearest ticket outlet, where I snagged three floor seats for Ozzy and two tickets for Bad Religion. Then I came home and was online at 1:00, so I could reserve my pass to the Rollins Band concerts in Chicago. I followed the great ticket grab with a trip to the travel agent, where I bought a plane ticket to Chicago.

All the plans seem to have shaken together decently well. Flett is in for Ozzy with me; and Richard is in for Bad Religion. As for Rollins, that will be a solo event. Even Maneesh, who is close, doesn't want to step into a mosh, since he has a swim meet the day after the second show.

I guess that it isn't a big surprise. It would be nice if everyone had the same interest and opportunity to go for these deals; but, naturally, they don't. It's not a trivial expense or effort. For me, though, there was no question. I expect it to be one of the events of a lifetime. I think of the first time that I saw Black Sabbath as one of the best feelings of my life. I think of the time that I saw Rollins Band in Montreal in 2000 as a turning point for me that year--it was the first time that I had felt truly happy since I moved to Ottawa.

It would have been very cool to share the Chicago trip with someone; but I find myself getting psyched for a solo shot, too. It will be much like flying to Philly for an NBA Finals game and a Fishbone show, since I'll have a couple of days to myself in a new city, with major events each night.

What really got me psyched today was the fact that my 2.13.61 order arrived, which was very fortunate timing. After I got home from buying my first tickets, I got to listen to the latest Rollins Band disc, A Nicer Shade of Red, which is another mail-order-only release of extra material. Then, after stepping out to pick up the plane ticket, I watched the extra features on the Rollins DVD, Up For It, which included some band footage.

By the time that I was through with the CD and DVD, I was definitely feeling ready to hit Chicago, get in the mosh, and destroy. And I will.

I seriously wonder about the post-concert let-down that's going to follow those shows. I remember coming out of the Irving Plaza after seeing Einst�rzende Neubauten and having a sense of built-up tension, wanting to grab someone and say, "Fuck, was that amazing or what?" Not being able to, having to instead walk away silently, taking the subway back to the airport . . . without the release, the feeling dies and takes something with it. It doesn't take away from the show itself, but where do you have to go after an experience like that but down?

On the other hand, after seeing Fishbone, I spent a long time chatting with a guy who I had crossed paths with in the pit. We ended up walking the same way out of the club and eventually splitting a cab, so it was a very different vibe from the Neubauten post-show mood. The other thing that the Rollins show will have over Neubauten is that it will be a very physical show. When I am drained at the end of the night, the exhaustion has a naturally calming effect.

At any rate, I'm just saying that it should be interesting to see how I come out of it. Don't take that to mean that my focus isn't on the shows themselves. I'm simply not sure how to convey my thoughts on them. All I needed was to see the video for "Your Number Is One," with the massive festival crowd working in full force, and I was already in the Metro. Bring on March 1st.

It was a mixed day in other respects. The cute girl who I usually see at the post office wasn't in when I picked up my 2.13 shipment; but I did get my plane ticket from the travel agency's best looking employee. It's a trade-off, I suppose. Heh.

Females. Ehh. The quote at the start of this entry is from a spoken piece that Rollins does on the end of the latest CD. Yes, the standard Rollins themes of alienation and depression can still be found.

At the time that I was listening to that song, I had another journal entry half-spun in my head. Solitude, alienation. You know. Yeah, my standard themes, too. (Or are they shown only when I actually write something in here that makes it seem like a real journal? Which is not nearly so often as the ideas exist.) I dunno. Give it a couple of days and the thoughts will return. Where else would they go? Perhaps I'll have an entry for them then.

I could pretend that this entry is sprawling because I haven't written for a few days; but it would be bogus. The last few days were very standard ones of sleeping in a bit, working a long day, and doing very little at home. I'd say that only Friday was notable, and that was only because it ended with an unexpected push that had me feeling burned out by the end of the night.

On the other hand, in addition to all the running around earlier today, I also got together with Greg, Kelly, and Don tonight, which was cool. I hadn't seen Kelly or Don since before Christmas; and it's always good to get together. Actually, we have plans for tomorrow. Amazingly, I will have woken up before noon on both days this weekend! Shocking, I know.

Speaking of which, I should wrap up this sprawl and go to bed. (Although not before reading some more of Ellen Maybe's book, The Cowardice of Amnesia, which was the third part of my 2.13 order. I've only read a few poems yet; but I'm already in love with it.)

Your number is one.

J.